I am

I am not.  I am not here.  I am.  I am of.  I am with.  I am not known.  I am dark.  I am not perceived.  I am sickness.  I am flu.  I am vomit.  I am here.  I am here.  I am here.  I am found out.  I am known.  I am surprised.  I am shaking.  I am vibrating with knowing.  I am not expected.  I am not wished for.  I am not wanted.  I am seed.  I am the wrong seed.  I am a secret.  I am scared.  I am uncomfortable.  I am the cause.  I am not the intention.  I am but shouldn’t be.  I am but can’t be.  I am the mistake.  I am the cause.  I am not wanted.  I am anger.  I am sadness.  I am tears.  I am the cause.  I am the cause.  I am the cause.

I am the loud noises.  I am the decision.  I am the duty.  I am the kept.  I am the expected.  I am the wedding.  I am not invited.  I am the invite.  I am the cake.  I am the cheap white wine.  I am growth.  I am hope.  I am just a bit of hope.  I am the responsibility.  I am the cost.  I am the worry.  I am the fear.  I am the fat.  I am no fun.  I am the end of fun.  I am not funny.  I am never, never funny.  I am not judged.  I am the judgement.  I am the result of mistakes.  I am floating in mistakes.  I am warm with shame.  I am drunk with fury.  I am not doing good.  I am not doing good.  I am a tumor.  I am not a tumor.

I am coming on.  I am turning over.  I am going down.  I am rolling out.  I am getting out.  I am horribly getting out.  I am finally, horribly getting out.  I am squeezed.  I am strain.  I am effort.  I am breathe.  I am breathe.  I am holding my breath.  I am the bite in the apple.  I am pain.  I am pain.  I am so much pain.  I am the cause of so much pain.  I am crowning.  I am the crown.  I am bright and cold.  I am the burning white cold.  I am crucified new.  I am boy.  I am the relief.  I am screaming wrath.  I am the 7th of 7th of 7th of 7th of 7th of 7th of 7th turn of the world.  I am the one who will pay.

I am no longer that story.  I am not that story.  I am not that story.  I am powerful.  I am worthy.  I am beautiful.  I am here.  I am alive.  I am safe.  I am love. I am hope.  I am the end of the cycle.  I am the beginning.  I am separate.  I am free.  I am.